we have officially lost it.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
