booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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