The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
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