I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
