I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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