just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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