Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
