bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
even my farts smell like vagina
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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