toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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