if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
