Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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