I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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