I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Randomize
