You're completely useless in the revolution.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize