I looked at my own cervix.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
