I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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