almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
My breasts were aching with rage.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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