i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
