so that wasnt chicken after all
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
