just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
My dad is sitting where you rode me
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
