why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Randomize
