If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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