Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
