Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
