I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
my god I love twenty year old dicks
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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