people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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