idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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