a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
you had me at cake vodka
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
