I must be too annoying 4 u.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
