I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
If I die, sorry about rent.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
