we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
