the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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