Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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