I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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