It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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