Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
