$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
