Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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