The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
