is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
