Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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