Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
When are your genitals available?
Randomize
