Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
