Do you still have your period?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
