Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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