By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
