How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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