I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
