Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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