you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
