I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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