Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
