that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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