Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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