i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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