I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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