I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
This is classic penis vs brain.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
