Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
