I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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