I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Less talking, more tequila
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
