I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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