i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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