I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize