and you said cock pushups were impossible
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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