Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Non-Jews are for practice
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
